Someone has (2) much money to spend.

So, you think you can dance? Over the past two and a half years, I have tried to entertain you, while enlightening the masses to things that should ring five-alarm fires across the globe. Forget that I put an atypical edge to them, put aside the hyperbole and sardonic overtones that ice the cake of truth and consider, if you will, what is right before you. I have found in these writings the scary truth, behind the facts, which is, regardless of topic, the ease in which we ignore the message read to consider the inappropriate author behind the words. Take for example my last post, where I spoke openly about my marriage and, according to some, betrayed my wife and the trust our holy union comes standard within its marital warranty of nondisclosure policies. In the end, it did not matter how right or how painful the admission was to me, only that I crossed some line in the sand with my words that hurt me just as much as, if not more than, the person mentioned. I learned a very important lesson with this post, which was no matter how much you can express or highlight a valid point, always remember the first rule of Fight Club.


But that is just one of many more examples that left me baffled. The others dealt with religion, drug use, racism and something about the end of the world as some guy with too much money to burn knew it. What I am saying to you is that I have written a great deal about unbelievable things, some that were possibly made up and others that I honestly wish I had made up so I could go to bed that evening without rediscovering the fetal position. So when I clicked on the above link and watched the preview unfold, at first, I thought it was joke. I laughed and snickered, which is really hard to do in the same chortle, and then I realized that it was nothing to laugh at...or shake a stick at, whichever feels right to you. I have heard of some pretty ridiculous plots and story arcs, watched these cleverly stringed together turds and wondered why afterwards a pool of my own drool had collected in the popcorn bowl, never fully satisfied with the reasoning. Anyone ever seen "Skyline"? Never have I wanted to be pulled away by a sudden beam of light, hoping it were the oncoming lights of a semi, as I did that day. I did come away feeling like a survivor though, even started a brief support group for others who, like me, became temporary sadist for however long that awful movie lasted. Then there was the movie that came out recently about the killer Tire. I will never understand how this movie ever reached pre-production or went beyond the writer's desk. I did not see it, so maybe I am unfairly judging a movie based on it being about a tire, but I feel confident that my criticism will be fair and just without my eyelids being taped open. That being said, I am very sure I'd rather watch this movie, plus the entire catalog of Tyler Perry's work on repeat and in True HD, and divulge every detail about my marriage in bold lettering than to have to sit through this movie about "Dance, Dance Revolution".

"The FP" I can only assume stands for "THE FUCKING POINTLESS", but is probably about the town the movie takes place in. Why bother trying to be an asshole about it, atypically speaking, when I can just let the blurb make an ass of itself.

Synopsis

In a dystopian future, a relentless turf war rages. Two rival gangs feud for control of rural wasteland Frazier Park ('The FP') in the deadly arena of competitive dance-fight video game "Beat-Beat Revelation." After hometown hero BTRO is slain on the dance platform by thug leader L Dubba E, his protege younger brother JTRO (Jason Trost) goes into isolation, vowing never to duel again. One year later, The FP is in ruins, and JTRO must find the courage to return and restore order in a ruthless battle for revenge that can only leave one man dancing. From the producers of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY and featuring narration by James Remar (THE WARRIORS), THE FP is a fury of fierce footwork, triumphant montages and neon street wear that Moviefone calls "a rare ready-made cult hit."

 Where to begin...Science Fiction, for those of you who like to know your Blogthur, is my first love. My first ever attempt to write a novel was about a genetically grown cyborg and man's obsession to live forever through "Syber Teknics". Don't ask, it was not very good. I know you have to have a little cheese with your futuristic worlds, I get it. I expect it. In fact, without it, science fiction would just be really smart fantasy: Ring Wars, Harry Potter and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Disc-Trek, The Chronicles of Tron, you get the idea. Then there is the use of dystopian, which, to me, is not the right word to use here. To me, dystopia means

An imagined place or state in which everything is unpleasant or bad, typically a totalitarian or environmentally degraded one.

Therefore, imagined or not, if the world no longer uses weapons of mass destruction or political pressures to shape the culture, and civilization now relies on "Dance, Dance Revolution" as its "Secret Weapon" then someone in Japan has a lot of explaining to do. Poor BTRO, slain on the dance platform. The clip shows this, I suspect it has some kind of "Mortal Kombat" delivery where the opponent can choose to have your manhood pulled out from the head of your penis, for even thinking about such a stupid fucking movie. Who, may I ask, is going to see this movie that doesn't look like the following. 

                    

That's right, no one. It will be a smash with the people of the rising sun and surrounding area, which is not a stereotype but a statistic that I looked up before writing this, since I am trying to be more informative with the last two Atypical Read's. To say this is even a movie would be a direct insult to every other movie, where real actors portray people they could never otherwise be beyond the camera. This, this is a LARP (Live Action Role Playing) with a Dungeon Master and too much money to burn. I like video games, but I do not have my own personal football field in the back yard, where I act out my Madden Franchise with some random people with a passion for football. Speaking of acting, this movie will undoubtedly sweep every potential Razzie category available as it has some of the worse acting I've ever seen in movies or television, and a cameo, for some reason, of that Russian Wrestler from the Street Fighter games. 

I do know this, if there was ever a time in our history where prophecy is finally meeting the demand of proof,  now is that time. I am completely convinced that we will all die this year. There are just too many facts to continue to speculate that 2012 is not just some Mayan Death Sentence, although, I still tend to believe the Mayan mystery comes down to the calendar maker getting nixed on that day, ending the Mayans and their blasted calendar.

Anyway, just one AR remains and I am still battling with myself over ending it for good, or just taking some well deserved time off. I am polishing up a short story that I hope to share with you all, if it gets chosen for publication. If not, I think I will test the waters of the Kindle Pool of Profit sharing and see just how many of you are actually willing to buy a story. Until then, 

That is all.